samthegeek’s avatarsamthegeek’s Twitter Archive—№ 32,422

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. Warning: lack of sobriety. #muteme
                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                                                                                                                                                                            Hanging out with my best friend’s ex. Not the best decision I’ve made all week. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                                                          I’m the most adult person here. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                                                        Things to know: what is a ferkin #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                                                      On a dock with lots of other inebriated young people. AMA #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                                                    🍩 for President #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                                                  Shots? #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                                                The iPhone 7 is great at club photography. Not my usual venue but…#muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                                              Now having a ridiculously expensive drink at someone else’s expense. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                                            It sucks to be the adult of the group. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                                          Oh my god drink people are worse than anything else to try and corral. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                                        I wore my watch in the club. Nobody noticed. This is a good thing. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                                      Nobody did. #muteme SamTheGeek/779902948960768000
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                                                                                                                                                                                    Someone erased my sudo. This has been recorded in the log files. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                                  I’ve kept the Uber waiting for 15 minutes. I’m that guy. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                                Never going to the club again. This has gone, um, ‘not well.’ #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                              This has been ‘Poor decision making’ with SamTheGeek #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                            Confirmed: I should stick to my usual. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                          The last time the Cubs won the World Series, the Ottoman Empire existed. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                        Christopher_A Probably. We shall see. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                      I’m discussing video games and yelling “fuck the patriarchy” #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                    “Drunk Sam is just Sam but more.” #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                  Only the trashiest bars are appropriate for me. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                                I think I treated someone wrong tonight. How do I make it up to them? #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                              @raynell_cooper in the context it actually doesn’t matter. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                            Oof. Good morning. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                          Knocked my phone out of my hand and then caught it in midair 👌🏼 #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                        These are my people. I miss them. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                      .joesteel why are you liking all of my drunk tweets? #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                    Sometimes your friends share stories that will probably become apocryphal legend with you. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                  Had a very serious debate tonight over the appropriateness of puffy vests given the current climate. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                                I danced tonight. I will never speak of this again. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                              joesteel Enough that it’s apparent you’ve read the entire thread. Are they so entertaining? #muteme
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                                                                                                                                            neomillennial I can reassure you that it takes more than that. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                          *waves at film_girl from the Uber* #muteme
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                                                                                                                                        Drunk me is very happy that I prepositioned water next to my bed. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                      neomillennial good that someone reminded you to. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                    Who let mb near a suit. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                  mb This has made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move. #muteme
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                                                                                                                            And the discussion has turned to dinosaur 🍆 #muteme
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                                                                                                                          Signs your apartment might look like Pinterest #muteme mb/796169176629080064
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                                                                                                                        My hair is falling out. #muteme
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                                                                                                                      It took him ten seconds to realize I was referring to him when I mentioned this. #muteme mb/796186880035405824
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                                                                                                                    I’m about to book this one-way flight. #muteme
                                                                                                                    oh my god twitter doesn’t include alt text from images in their API
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                                                                                                                  Are there still people in line in North Carolina? #muteme
                                                                                                              1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                                                                                People think that flying swastikas is ok. That I do not deserve to exist. That is sobering. #muteme
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                                                                                                              Yes, that’s what a swastika represents. It represents marching me to the gas. It represents machine gunning children. #muteme
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                                                                                                            It doesn’t represent a better time. It represents what we fought against in that time you idolize as better. #muteme
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                                                                                                          The mood in this bar is sober. People are planning their exit strategies. #muteme
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                                                                                                        I have enough miles for a one way ticket to TLV #muteme
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                                                                                                      The KKK thinks I don’t deserve to live in this country. #muteme kimye___/796200566594609153
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                                                                                                    Now we know who we really are. Tomorrow we wake up and get to work to change that. #muteme
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                                                                                                  I’m not leaving. I’m staying. Let’s prove we’re better than this. #muteme
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                                                                                                Let’s be honest: the KKK endorsement doesn’t matter. The lack of repudiation matters. #muteme
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                                                                                              For the record: dismantling the ACA will be more expensive than leaving it in place. #muteme
                                                                                          1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                                                            “The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die“ #muteme
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                                                                                          Tonight’s topic: #flannelswag #muteme
                                                                                      1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                                                        I guess I’m playing bar trivia #muteme
                                                                                    1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                                                      Hi. #muteme
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                                                                                    Fuck I forgot #muteme
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                                                                                  "The United States should not admit it's own president" #muteme LambdaLegal/825153267688697856
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                                                                                I'm going to look at my 2018 tax returns and cry because I know the cost of those 💵 #muteme
                                                                            1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                                              "Once we were strangers too" is a great biblical reference that too many will miss. #muteme ADL_National/825073886702211072
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                                                                            Nice. #muteme
                                                                            oh my god twitter doesn’t include alt text from images in their API
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                                                                          Apparently, Schwarzenegger is not the hero we deserve, but he’s the hero we need. #muteme ABC/827169937139576832
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                                                                        Three M trains in 5 minutes, but no B, D, or F trains. Really‽ #muteme
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                                                                      Make that five M trains, an F, a D, and an A — which doesn’t even stop at this station — but no B. In twenty minutes. #muteme
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                                                                    My cousin is on the ice! He’s a firefighter keeping the ice runways safe. YES, they have firefighters in Antarctica. #muteme AusAntarctic/827296678575104001
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                                                                  Mind. Blown. #muteme justinjm1/827911187362934793
                                                              1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                                When the bar is so chill the bartender walks outside for a smoke. 👌 #muteme
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                                                              “It’s cold as balls, that’s why I’m dressed like a teddy bear! Or a pimp.” #muteme
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                                                            The line for the bathroom is insane. #muteme
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                                                        Listening to New Order while playing Street Fighter and drinking a PBR. I’m either a hipster or in 1987. Not sure which. #muteme
                                                    1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                      Now in the bar: soundhound.com/?t=100383724566083402 I like this place. #muteme
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                                                    When zkahn surprises you in the bar 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 #muteme
                                                1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                  The last bar was ‘80s throwback. Now we’re in the ‘90s. (Sup zkahn) #muteme
                                              1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                WORLDS COLLIDE because zkahn and ccarmen92 are in the same place #muteme
                                            1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                              Pizzzaaaaaaaaaaaaa 🍕 #muteme
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                                            Had a tic tac as I left the bar and my breath is so fresh #muteme
                                        1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                          This is the most @lenny__belardo tweet I have ever tweeted. #muteme
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                                        This is my only #muteme of the night.
                                    1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                      Disco in the 21st century. #muteme
                                  1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                    I’m at the party and I’m definitely the least cool person here. Still feel p cool. #muteme
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                                  I’m sitting in the corner of the party contemplating faking my own death. /cc RebeccaSlatkin CriminalShow #muteme
                              1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                It me. I’m here. #muteme lenny__belardo/835690776311001088
                            1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                              I am now the adult in the room. Um. #muteme
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                            Today was tough. #muteme
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                          I'm going to bed. #muteme
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                        I made this comment like 10 hours before someone called in a bomb threat to that school. #muteme SamTheGeek/836065852642496513
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                      Help. #muteme
                  1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                    For the record I’m fine but at a karaoke bar and I cannot sing in any key. Much less on key. #muteme
                1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                  The B train is very late and I am salty. #muteme
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              That’s soho. I guess I missed him today. #muteme RED/845333722366951425
          1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
            Whoops. #muteme
        1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
          Terrible bars are terrible. #muteme
      1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
        I’m too drunk for 8:30 #muteme
    1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
      I’m at the caseyliss pizza place and he might just hate me. #muteme
  1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
    John’s. It’s the drunk pizza. #muteme
    1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
      That’s three. I might be bad at adulting. #muteme
      1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
        Four in a row! #muteme
        1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
          This tweet brought to you by poor decision making, my bank account, and the number fifteen #muteme
          1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
            Hi #muteme
            1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
              This has gone… well? #muteme
              1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                Um. #muteme
                1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                  Spent a lot of time with good people tonight. This is what I want to do forever. #muteme
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                    Work people are 💯 #muteme
                    1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                      This thread is me. #muteme
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                        I’m drinkless in a bar. #muteme
                        1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                          This is just bad business. #muteme
                          1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                            Apparently jamiepinkham likes trolling me when I’m drunk. #muteme
                            1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                              .jamiepinkham How sure are you #muteme
                              1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                .jamiepinkham 0% #muteme
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                                  How does a bar run out of wings on wing night‽ #muteme
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                                    This hotel has the dopest of shower drains. #muteme
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                                        At WWDC but this qualifies for #muteme
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                                          So Christopher_A is very drunk. I am… only slightly less so #muteme
                                          1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                            What is Craig showing the size of, gruber? #muteme
                                            oh my god twitter doesn’t include alt text from images in their API
                                            1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                              Someone left the lights on in the office. #muteme
                                              1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                Tonight should have been a fun evening in the park. But somehow, it became a metaphor for why art is important. #muteme
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                                                  “Arrival Scan: New York, NY, United States 12:24 AM” #muteme
                                                  1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                    Thing that I forgot that I do when drunk: sneeze continuously. #muteme
                                                    1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                      So uh. Karaoke on a Wednesday. I guess these people are my people. #muteme
                                                      1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                        Should I have another Peach Tea Bourbon? 1) Yes 2) Yes 3) Two #muteme
                                                        1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                          I’ve already ranted about Cam Newton, the ACA, and plan B tonight. #muteme
                                                          1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                            Just ordered a burrito bowl from the good taqueria. Thankfully they’re open ‘til 3am. #muteme
                                                            1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                              Wrong. The correct answer was: 3 #muteme
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                                                                Duh. But the patriarchy means that’s want to control the supply for.. reasons? #muteme bessbell/916329932502065152
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                                                                  Hey Ya just came on in the Lyft and our driver turned the volume up. He gets 5 stars. #muteme
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                                                                    Lit went off on a guy for not stocking Plan B at home last night because tbh it’s an inexpensive way to show you respect women. #muteme
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                                                                        Oh no. /cc gabeschindler #muteme
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                                                                          Oh. It’s one of these again. #muteme
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                                                                            I fully support this as a metric for your partner. #muteme kateleth/931999744410337280
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                                                                              They do. It’s obvious. #muteme greenhousenyt/932087304931414016
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                                                                                Brunch! #muteme
                                                                                1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                                                  Old enough to remember when Nazi sympathizers didn’t get flattering portraits in national newspapers. #muteme
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                                                                                    It’s that kind of night again! #muteme
                                                                                    1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                                                      Jathiest™ #muteme
                                                                                      1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                                                        A truth for the ages. #muteme imyke/934578481685463041
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                                                                                          There's a clawfoot tub and I can't even. #muteme
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                                                                                            I've been to Uniqlo, a party, sands now karaoke #muteme
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                                                                                              This bar has good taste in recycling bins. #thereturnofmuteme #muteme
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                                                                                                Cheese plates! #muteme
                                                                                                1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                                                                  I am currently wearing two layers of tee shirt. #muteme
                                                                                                  1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                                                                    No, I just had to put the hackathon tee over my regular one. #muteme
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                                                                                                      I’m gonna tweet from Japan for one reason: #muteme
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                                                                                                        OH: “I love that play-doh became the theme of this party.” #muteme
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                                                                                                          Whoops forgot to hashtag #muteme
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                                                                                                            I once watched DBtodomundo bicycling down Bowery wearing a white suit. #muteme johnmoe/990013756381032448
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                                                                                                              It’s Britney time. #muteme
                                                                                                              1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                                                                                Ok we moved on to Mulan. #muteme
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                                                                                                                  Ugh. Hate to see this. 😜 #muteme mertdumenci/992957401765560320
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                                                                                                                    In all seriousness, mertdumenci is awesome and we’re going to seriously miss him this summer. #muteme
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                                                                                                                      Tonight the fog is reallllllll #muteme
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                                                                                                                        I am so bad at dancing #muteme
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                                                                                                                          Someone is now opera singing in my building. It is 11:32pm on a Wednesday. #muteme
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                                                                                                                            So parrots is right #muteme
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                                                                                                                              A physicist tries to drunkenly explain time. #muteme
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                                                                                                                                I guess by “unify iOS and macOS underpinnings” they meant “run a bunch of iOS on a subsystem in your Mac.” #muteme _inside/1017417172077801479
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                                                                                                                                  Drunk tacos are the best tacos. Even more so when with people who feel like family #muteme
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                                                                                                                                    I'm flying to France tomorrow but tonight I'm celebrating people important to me #muteme
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                                                                                                                                      Tfw you feel the subway run right past the underground bar #muteme
                                                                                                            2. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                                                                              I spent twenty minutes discussing local public high schools with Elliot Engel
                                                                                                              1. …in reply to @SamTheGeek
                                                                                                                I allowed Teller (of Penn & Teller) to take a selfie of himself, my father, and me with my phone. He did it one-handed, in three seconds, without saying a word.